Published on February 20th, 2013 | by Tevin Christopher0
10 Reasons to Love and Hate Rihanna
In 2005, all hell broke loose when Jay-Z decided it was a good idea to recruit talent on the small island of Barbados. With just a green card, a pack of sweet & sour gummy worms, and a Whitney Houston cassette tape, Rihanna auditioned and was signed to a major label on the same day. Fast-forward 7 years later and she’s the most popular singer on earth who Instagram’s every minute she breathes and tweets like she gets paid to do it.
But there is no one who has cultivated a more polarizing image than RiRi, herself. She can host a charity event to inspire kids then the next day post a picture of her breaking up weed in Chris Brown’s underwear. Sometimes I want to tear her poster off my wall and empty her CDs in my driveway and skid the tires over them – then I want to stalk her Instagram, with thirsty invites to my bedroom, that she’ll never see. Ugh, so in honor of her 25th birthday, here are 10 reasons to absolutely love/hate Rihanna at the same time.
- Rihanna is flawless. This Caribbean beauty has long Goddess sculpted legs that are insured for $1 million, a weave that costs more than your entire closet, and a body toned to make women question their sexuality.
- Rihanna used to date MATT KEMP but instead she chose to reconcile with this guy.
- Rihanna can never keep a hairstyle for more than a week. She owns more wigs/weaves than clean underwear. How does she go from red, to blonde, to brunette all in one week?
- Rihanna can smoke weed and posts pictures of her blunt blowing smoke on Instagram but if I were to even post a picture of me holding a Corona my mom will leave about 5 missed calls and text me asking how I got it.
- Rihanna’s life is a photo shoot. She can afford to get high, show up an hour late to shoot and then get paid to appear on the cover of a magazine.
- Rihanna gets paid $100,000 to sit front row at a fashion show, for 30 minutes. Your tuition for 4 years will costs $100,000 and… We’re all mad about it!
- There’s nothing more infectious and repetitive than a new Rihanna song on the radio and soon as you’re annoyed of it, she releases a new song, a new album, shoots 10 music videos, and all of this happens in less than a month.
- This picture.
- This picture.
- Because there is obviously nothing better to do online than seek attention from celebrities who don’t know you exist so you should continue to post mean comments on her Instagram about how she can be a better role model to your 11-year-old cousin and tweet about how she’s a devil-worshipping slut who sacrifices sick children and sleeps with a different rapper every weekend.
This post is clearly satirical and I am very much in love with Rihanna and the free spirited, chameleon lifestyle she allows me to vicariously live through her social media accounts. I have also accepted the fact that her unconventional way of living and expressing through social media may cause jealousy, and other negative feelings to arise in insecure human beings.